Dealing with Betrayal

As we journey across this topic of betrayal, I can hear the chorus play in my mind, of the popular 50's band called the O'Jays and their Top Hit song titled "Back Stabbers". We are all familiar with these profound and truth-telling lyrics..."What they do?" They smile in your face, all the time they want to take your place. The back stabbers (back stabbers)." It is a simple reminder that we all will experience some form of betrayal in our life by someone we know. Most times, it is during a vulnerable time in our lives when they lurk behind the shadows and wait to pounce on us when we’re in our weakest and most needed periods. Some way or another we have to experience the feeling of being betrayed. It is when your left feeling hurt, angry, frustrated, and you constantly shake your head in disbelief of, "how could he/she or even they do this to me?" It's during that time when you feel alone; sit in perplexity, and feel completely victimized.

 

How do you deal with it? How long will it take for this deadly stab wound to fully heal? Today, I attempt to bring some clarity and solutions to the topic. Firstly, most betrayers come in the form of different people in our lives and with different motives. However, the most popular reason(s) for it is envy, jealousy, and/or greed. Envy starts out as an emotion of wanting what someone else posse. This does not always have to do with materialistic possessions, but someone may want your happiness, joy, spouse, success, talents, blessing, peace, even child-bearing ability. Jealousy is unique and tricky because both persons have the same things, but one becomes jealous because the other person's may be a little better. For example, you and your friend both having fully operational vehicles, but you have a Mercedes and she has a Kia. None of the persons are lacking a car and the car is fulfilling the same purpose in your lives, but the jealousy sets in because of the status of the cars. The problem is not the emotion, because emotions are meant to quickly subside. However, the relentless manifestation following the emotion is when the problem occurs. Now the envious or jealous person has become fixated on it and eventually builds up a desire. Greed is having what you have and simply wanting more and overriding being content with being completely unsatisfied. So understand there are different levels of betrayal and different motives for the betrayer. Not to mention, being betrayed by someone you confide in who is not happy with their life and just is filled with poisonous character flaw(s) and you somehow get hurt by their hurt and misery.

 

Now, as we have dealt and brought some clarity to the more practical side of betrayal let’s look at betrayal from the biblical standpoint. First, I want us to read Psalms 34:18 which reminds us that "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” As believers we are still in this world, therefore still having to deal with the same experiences in life as an unbeliever. In some cases, believers get it even worst, for we have the enemy continuously throwing fiery arrows at us because of the calling the Lord has placed on our lives. But as children of the Living God, when pain arise in our lives we can come before a Loving understanding Father with all our tears and sorrow and in complete trust and He will comfort us and make us whole again. I personally thank God for the transparency and practicality His Word brings for every situation in our lives. The Bible reminds us that not only have we been betrayed, but the Lord Jesus Himself by Judas, Samson by Delilah, King David by his own son Absalom, and Haman betrayed God's people even. The Lord was gracious to include real life experiences we will endure in our life manual, which is the Bible.

 

  Now in terms of dealing with Betrayal, the first thing we have to realize and attempt to understand is we live in a world where people lack substance to their character. People are flawed and already conditioned to the ways of this world. Sometimes it is the Will of God for you to go through so His Glory reflects in the situation and you see God work on your behalf in yet a different way. Perhaps for you to draw strength and wisdom from the offense; to be able to experience this level of hurt, so you can be a ministering witness for someone else when they need you to build them up. Sometimes when we close our eyes to all the previous warning signs, He may allow it to spiral out of control, but still protecting you by showing you this person needs to be removed out your life. Either way everything that happens to us has a purpose and God will always turn what the devil intended for bad for your good. Just continue to be strong and trust God even if you don’t feel like you can, but wear wisdom around your neck as you become sensitive to the many people around you. More importantly, I pray that God heals you and the offender both emotionally, spiritually, physically, and even mentally has you go through your season of betrayal.

 

-Sister Christina Bladen